I cherish this Bible verse. I was severely rear-ended in 1992 by a church bus. I was also driving a church bus. My seat was broken off its hinges. This was a 72 passenger full-sized school bus! For my driver's seat to be broken off its hinges, you can only try to imagine the tremendous amount of energy force that was transferred from the collision impact, through the frame of the bus, to the rider's seats. The bus that rear-ended our bus was damaged so badly, with the engine and transmission broken into hundreds of pieces on the ground, that the insurance company deemed it cheaper to just but the bus company a brand new bus, rather than attempt to pay to have the old bus repaired. Some irresponsible wicked person left their abandoned car on the roadway, which caused the accident. Three church buses were also involved.
I have no doubt that a few dozen of the riders who were present on the bus that day are suffering today with all sorts of spinal issues, and since most were younger children, they likely forgot about the accident and don't even know why they are suffering so bad. Hopefully they grew out of their injuries. Unfortunately, I sustained permanent neck misalignment and didn't even realize it at the time.
I was 25 years old at the time in 1992, and even I forgot about the accident as the years passed. I remember being at work several years after the accident. My neck felt tense and I wondered why. I remember being frustrated at work that my neck felt so tight, physically tense, while I was relaxed and had no reason to be tense. I had completely forgotten about the severe bus collision. It wasn't until 12 years later in 2004 when my cervical disks shifted into my spinal cord, that my agonizing arthritis neck pain began, and the feeling of tension also increased significantly. Technically my disks between bones C5-C6 and C7 were not herniated, they were protruding into my spinal cord, wreaking havoc on my wellbeing.
Since I didn't experience any radiating pain in 2004, I wasn't yet a candidate for neck surgery. I met with a few chiropractors who diagnosed me with Reverse Cervical Curve (i.e., my neck is misaligned because of suffering severe whiplash in 1992). My job as a mechanic over time worsened my condition and then in 2005 I fell down a mailslide at work, which caused the radiating pain to start in both arms and legs (mostly the right side). By 2006 I was a candidate for neck surgery, but my unfaithful rotten former wife abandoned and divorced me in my hour of need and physical suffering. So, I had to wait until 2009, when I simply could no longer work, to undergo major neck surgery. The surgeon removed the disks between C5-C6 and C7 and put what's called a "Z-Tech Implant" in between the cervical bones as a spacer (to prevent the bones from collapsing).
In 2010, I needed to have the surgery redone, but this time a different surgeon surgically removed a bone graft from my left hip, and put it into my neck as spacers. This second surgery made me 100% worse, leaving both arms feeling doubled in size, as if pumped full of air, and I experienced both hands feeling electrified. These uncomfortable feelings are still with me today, 15 years later, sadly. For the first year I was very depressed in 2010. I rarely left my apartment. I wanted to die. It wasn't a Bible verse that helped me out of my depression; but rather, I had heard a phrase in the movie, “Shawshank Redemption” by actor Morgan Freeman: “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” That helped me and I decided to get busy living.
During the lowest point in my life in 2009, I was abused by the senior pastor of Agana Heights Baptist Church on Guam, and abandoned to die. Pastor Alfred will answer To God for his hatred and wickedness, and Mike (a member who plays the clarinet in their church), who wickedly slandered me to their pastor, turning him against me in 2009. Those two devils have my blood on their hands, because for several years to follow I didn't attend any church, devastated because of what those evil men wickedly did to effectively murder me. I have been deeply hurt by several pastors and church members, who are in big trouble with God.
Let's move on shall we. I cannot express in words the inexplicable physical pain, emotional trauma, loneliness and betrayal that I have suffered over the past 20 years. My x-wife is nothing but rottenness in my bones, a pathetic careless Loser whom I wish I had never met. I pray for her often, for God to break her pride and humble her ungodly heart, but it hasn't happened in the 19 years since she cruelly abandoned me in divorce since 2006. Woe unto her when she stands before almighty God!
As I type, my body is hurting in much physical pain. My neck pain in the bony area in back is incessant. The ungodly federal and state governments have declared war on innocent pain sufferers, punishing everyone for the reckless drug abuse by criminals. If you think that we live in a FREE society, you are a fool who has been woefully deceived. I don't feel "free" when I am forced to needlessly suffer in agonizing pain without adequate pain relief, only because our government leaders couldn't care less. Our incompetent government leaders are infamous for doing nothing when they should act, or going way overboard when they shouldn't' do anything. I hate our God damned federal and state governments, who refuse to allow doctors to adequately treat patients who are suffering in horrible constant pain, like I am. I curse our evil governments for not caring about the people that they pretend to serve!!!
Having shared my story of misery with you, now you know why I cherish Revelation 21:4, where God promises to take away my pain forever. I long for that blessed day! Philippians 3:21 promises us a new physical resurrected body, fashioned like unto the Lord's resurrected perfect body. What a day that will be! It is hard to be spiritual when you are in physical pain. I never feel like going to church because my body is hurting. I have to make myself go, but I am always glad afterwards that I went. Even still, I have to be careful not to overdo it, or I will quit church altogether.
Also, I have painfully lived alone for the past 19 years. My x-wife is a darn fool, who plucked down her own house with her hands, a careless daughter. I have nothing good to say about her. I often feel like crying when I walk through any type of store, because I am so lonely. Anyone who permanently divorces and abandons their spouse is a monster! I long for the dear Lord to take full control of my life, and make everything right. I hate this miserable sin-cursed world. All I see is hatred, war and evil. Life is so cheap on earth. I've seen all the evil, ruthless murdering, genocide, selfish pastors, religious arrogance and wickedness that I ever want to see. I'm ready to go home to be with Jesus when God calls my number.
Until that day comes, I am clinging to Revelation 21:4, looking forward to the time when all pain will forever be done away with. Even so, come, Lord Jesus!
